My So Called Green Life...

What to do What to do....

2012-01-12T14:33:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here and after not writing for so long, my mind is exploding with ideas on topics, but I cant pick one. I write a line, and then delete it. That one can stay now. Phew. Hmmmm..... school.
So after having 4 kids, I am thinking into the future and wondering what am I going to do? I can be a stay-at-home mom, and struggle to pay bills every month. Or I can go back to work now. Or I can go back to work when the kids are in school. I think I have decided to wait until they are all in school full-time. I do Spas right now in my spare time (har Har!) and I love them, and I will for sure continue doing them, but I have other passions I'm discovering right now that I am thinking about exploring.

Therapy - I LOVE a good mystery and theres no bigger mystery than our minds. I am constantly having to 'help' my friends and family (not by them asking) to fix some problem in their head. It feels like a puzzle to me. Like if this piece fits here, this one might go here? I am thinking about becoming a therapist. but I'm worried that if I do it for a living it will take the fun out of it.

Business Advertising - Something else I have discovered, I love thinking of ways to help small businesses get customers. I have TONNES of ideas... I actually cant help but think of more ideas. It wakes me up at night. I would like to do this, even for direct sales ladies. :)

Plumbing - I am already a journeyman, Ive done the work, I like it. I have lots of room to grow and I have lots of avenues to do it on. With 14 plumbers in my family, I wont be walking on untended ground, but why does that matter? My husband does it and I'm not sure about working with him, but its definitely a choice.

I know these have NOTHING to do with each other, but I think each one has a different feeling for me and I would enjoy doing all of them.

Just what Ive been thinking about... :)

Thoughts??

What do you think I would be best at and like the most???

Not Supermom or even Superwomen, feeling the sting of failure. Or I like to call it - learning.

2011-02-22T16:58:00.000-08:00

So after almost 2 months of living like this, no processed food, no bread, ect. There have been some trials we have gotten through. We have leaned quite hard on the No processed food bit. Thats what this whole thing was about and Im keeping to that! Ive dropped a few things and came up with a few new ideas.
Biking my kids everywhere where I live right now??? Isnt really going to work. There are hills galore! Plus its very cold... :)
The only eating meat and veggies/fruit thing, is GREAT! but for us right now, the kids eating constantly, Deacon and Joes tummys not really being full, isnt really working for me. :) So Ive decided to bring back home-made bread! Maybe later, we can try again. Or we can try a different flour! :) For right now, Im making bread.
We have also decided to buy more frozen veggies for right now, because thats what we will be eating next winter, we should get used to it!
We have decided to buy another deep freeze, with the 100 chickens, plus frozen fruit and veggies, we will DEF need more room! I have thought about canning, and we will do a bit of it, but canning adds more sugar and less fiber. So instead if you freeze them, you will get more fiber and you can use them for more uses!
That brings me to my latest obsession.

Freezer bags.

So Im trying to live more GREEN, and Im going to go out, buy a bunch of zip-loc bags and use them? OR Im going to spend lots of $ on Tupperware containers that dont always keep out the freezer burn and take up too much space???

How does that make sense?

I now dream of a sewing machine....

I am going to make a few things:

A double velcroed freezer bag, (think of those old sandwich bags with the double flaps - now imagine them with velcro on those flaps...)

A laundry bag, To hang in my bathroom, kitchen, kids rooms, ect. A wet-bag (With PUL) to put dirty clothes in! Also going to make one for my diaper bag!

Snack bags!, to put the kids snacks in, anything you would put in a ziploc bag. :)

So Im thinking, where do I get cheap fabric???

Then it came to me,

Why dont I buy from VV and UPCYCLE!?!?!?

So turn that old T-shirt into a bag! Or old sweater, ect!

After 1 month the status IS....

2011-02-02T14:00:00.000-08:00

Well There is still a huge inward battle going on within me. :( Its so hard to go from one way to the complete opposite. And not go crazy at the same time. My brain is too full, and its trying to muddle through all this information sometimes I think when I touch my head, its going to feel like one of those burnt out motors - VERY HOT! But at the same time, the differences I see in my kids everyday, make it all worth it.

So its been 1 month:

Ive lost 10lbs
sleeping better
more energy
less tired
I FEEL better about the future
Deacon's poops are SOOO much better!!
Joe is feeling alot better too!

and to tell the truth, its less expensive and a little bit more time. Thats it.

It takes me once a week about 1 hour to make milk and cheese. (thats actual work)
Instead of taking me 15-20min to make lunch (or toxic chemicals that seem like lunch) it takes me 30min
breakfast is always either: eggs, apple 'porridge', or oatmeal (10min)
cutting up veggies is probably the most time consuming, (30min a day) thats for lunch and dinner put together. But I do have my Pampered chef chopper thing and soon to switch to Tupperwares new choppy thing.
More dishes! (plus for some reason I have decided that I dont like buying dish washing detergent, so I hand-wash them all)

When I tell other moms what Im doing, there 1st reaction is to feel 'guilty'?? and try and tell me a number of excuses as to why they arnt doing it too.. which to me is weird. I have felt a calling to make my family and my own lives better by spending MORe tiem prepping. Instead of buying everything packaged and just cooking it (like I used to). If you dont think thats something for you or your family, thats cool. Whatever its not my business. :) But I think God has had me do this, maybe to show people that this crazy, (INSANELY) busy young mom, who has her own booming business from home and REALLY isnt a good housewife, can do it, then ANYBODY can do it, WITH EASE! lol...

1st excuse:

Im too busy.
ok. This is the thing. Im doing things the most inefficient EVER. By cutting and prepping before each meal, total waste of time. If I was more efficient, I would spend an hour or two one day a week, PREPPING! Even making all the lunches for the week. It would be SOO easy! Plus dinner planning?? Oh wow....
So lets say your making Kraft Dinner, takes 5min for water to boil. You mix it all together taking a total of 15-20min (if you throw in hot dogs... lol) Instead, you COULD make a huge casserole on Sunday, with like potatoes, almond milk, VEGGIES, chicken even, and Almond cheese on top. MMMmmmmm!! Soooo good. Takes EVEN less time!!

Its too expensive.
ok, buying processed food, is WAY expensive. We used to spend $150-$200 a week on food. BASICS! So now we are spending $75-$100 a week on only fruits, veggies and meat. (including almonds, oats and eggs!) The only thing its expensive with is your time.

What good am I really doing?

http://www.americanheritage.com/articles/magazine/it/2001/1/2001_1_8.shtml

This is an article on Cheese and Mr. Kraft himself. What did he do TO cheese to go from 1 person consuming 3lbs of cheese to 30lbs of cheese?

So I urge you to go into your cupboards, look at the ingredients on your food, and GOOGLE it. You will see what you are really feeding your kids and eating yourself. Oh, and by the way... the Europeans are WAY ahead of us, look at what THEY are banning....

OH WOW!!! :)

2011-01-14T19:10:00.000-08:00

So I tried again and made Almond Cheese. This time it actually worked!!

2C of almonds

Put them in water overnight. Blanch them (throw them in a boiling pot of water for 30 seconds, then pop their skin off).

Put 2C of water and almonds in blender. Blend smooth. Place in dish with cheesecloth covering (or a stocking).

wait 12Hrs

Put cheese mixture into cheesecloth, hang dripping into bowl.

wait 12 hrs.

Put into fridge.

Now I took it and divided it up into 3 containers.

Roasted garlic Almond Cheese

4 garlic cloves
2 TBSP extra virgin olive oil
salt
pepper

Take the garlic cloves, slice. Throw into pan with oil. Add salt and pepper. Roast until just brown. Put mixture into moater and use pedistal to mash. Add into cheese.

Hot Chili Almond Cheese

4 TBSP Crushed Chili
2 TBSP Paprika
Salt
Pepper
2 TBSP Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Put everything in pan, roast. Put it in moater and use pedistal to mash. Mix into cheese.

ENJOY!!

I thinkIve decided to bring some food to taste at my MOMS meeting Im talking at. :)

Im making Ratatouille tonite!!!!!

2011-01-12T13:38:00.000-08:00

So abit disappointed today. :( I tried to make a certain almond yogurt and cheese from this recipe... totally didn't work. Booo... so I am trying a different one today, maybe this one will.. :)

Last week when I did my once a week shop I spent $200, $45 on meat, $65 on veggies and fruit, and $80 on extras (like WW flour, and honey). So this week I was quite excited that I was going to be going to Organic World for my meat and the local produce market for veggies and fruit. I spent $30 on meat and $50 on fruit and veggies!!!! I was SO pleased with myself!! Then I went to Bibles For Missions and bought a dehydrator, a food steamer, a thermos, an ice cream maker and some VHS's all for $30! :) So I got home, started right away making dehydrated apples and chocolate ice cream (with almond milk). Apples are delish, but ice cream not so much.. :( Its a really old machine and the recipes all call for evaporated milk or gelato. ERmmm.. No. So I just put Almond milk, unsweetened chocolate, sugar and vanilla. Going to try another recipe today... maybe use up the last of the cows milk. :)

I am having lots of fun trying making things from scratch though. The only difference is a little bit more time and effort. I DO need to start making a HUGE batch of some stuff, so I can just reheat. I haven't made bread since Sun, So doing pretty good there. :) When we eat we eat mostly veggies and then some meat. Last night we made ribs with sweet potato shredded and then made into patties... MMMMmmmmm!! Soooo good!! I gotta say, our plates look a little funny... :) Its really working quite well for us, and we really enjoy it!!

Typical meal plan:

Breakfast:

porridge with cocoa powder and vanilla in it. Mmmm

Snack:

cucumbers/apples/beans

Lunch:

Soup (homemade from scratch)
leftover dinner
sweet potato fries
green bean salad with chicken and sauce

Dinner:

any kind of meat
sweet potatoe
cauliflower
potatoes

ect...

I'm making ratatouille tonite!!!! :)

Tapped, the bottled water battle. Human concerns part1

2011-01-07T13:39:00.000-08:00

So the problem with saying, 'Ok, ok ok, I was wrong, this is really bad___' . Is that all of a sudden you must now challenge all of your former ideas, thoughts and beliefs. Like, Hmmmmm.. I remember someone once saying this to me, I wonder if its true??
So I have been using my trusted NetFlicks to watch documentary after documentary. A few of them have been unbelieveable!!

The education of Shelby Knox (about sexual education in the school systems)
www.netflicks.ca/wimovie/the-education-of-shelby-knox

Frontline: The Vaccine War (obviously about vaccines)
www.netflicks.ca/wimovie/frontline-the-vaccine-war

Maxed Out (about credit card debt and the big companies)
www.netflicks.ca/wimovie/maxed-out

Tapped (about bottled water)
www.netflicks.ca/wimovie/tapped

I am still watching more, So I am going to do a few blogs on these issues. :) I will add more as I go

Tapped:

So I have spent maybe 10min total before my conversion thinking about plastic containers. I had to spend SOME time, cause my kids did drink out of bottles. So I switched to BPA free bottles and moved on.

I saw this movie and thought - Why not? Little did I know that this little movie would change the way I looked at several things. Forever.

It looked at about 6 different reasons why bottled water is lunacy. The sneaky way that information is given to us, like we are stupid. Stealing the water from hick towns and selling our own water to us, for a 1900% profit margin. LOL! Plus the litter is insane!

Anyways... just dont drink bottled water. buy a nice bottle and fill it up yourself at your tap. :)

Day 6 and counting...

2011-01-06T12:46:00.000-08:00

So I went shopping, got all this stuff, have been making bread everyday and not eating anything processed. And so far its been pretty easy. I still enjoy it and want to continue. LOL. But a few things I have noticed so far:

1. Im not as tired.

2. Im more energetic.

3. Im more ... ehm... regular.

4. I never realized how 'easy' we had it. lol

5. Im not as bloated.

6. My evening carb cravings have gone into double overtime!!

7. My kids LOVE this food way better than the old stuff. :)

My brain is kinda in a battle with itself. Its trying to push itself over a great big GRanola hill!! Im trying to get over the Granola Mom syndrome I was so afraid of. But its hard, I keep getting flashbacks of my friends's mom's FREAKING out over a bag of chips, or milk, or chocolate! And remembering how CRAZY I thought she was. Plus im remembering how uncaring I was about this VERY subject just a few years ago. Im Reformed!! I promise!! Its like this huge light switch Im trying to throw but with only little men in my brain... 'This is the best thing for your kids', 'BUT I DONT WANT TO BE CRAZY!!!!' ' Oh come on, you ALREADY ARE!' 'I DONT WANT TO BE CRAZY CRAZY like her!!' 'No body will notice' ' But its supposted to be sooo hard, and your sooo busy already!' ' We can do it' ..... ect ect ect.... over and over again. Plus its quite hard for me to accept compliments, so everybody and their dog is telling me how awesome I am, and I dont know what to say???

Im just doing what I assume every mom would do. If they were in my shoes. (Or I hope they would do)

and it begins...

2011-01-04T18:31:00.001-08:00

Hey!

So I went out grocery shopping today. :) No processed food! I just bought veggies, fruit, meat and bits and pieces for baking bread, and ALMONDS!

Got home and went to0 work.

Almond milk:

Take 1 C Almonds (blanched - drop them in boiling water for 30 seconds, pop the skin off)

and 4 cups water, put in a blender. Blend for 3-4 minutes. Until smooth. Strain through cheese cloth or like me stockings. :) I put the 'Almond paste' in a dish, added salt and its like Almond butter (like margarine and butter, not peanut butter). DONE!

I am going to start making cheese tomorrow and yogurt. :)

I have been asked by our local M.O.M.S group to talk about these things that Im doing and why. This is very exciting for me and its fast becoming one of my passions. :)

Its one of those things that I find myself thinking about when Im driving and trying to sleep. :) Which is funny because those time slots have been only filled with BeautiControl thinking for the past 2 years, so now its like this big debate, which love do I think of for the next hour?? Which is REALLY funny cause I NEVER thought I would be one of those irritating mothers who is a 'granola'.... which I guess I am now. :( Ok ok... get over it.. lol!

I keep going back to the fundamental fact that this is best for my kids. Someone asked me the other day if we were going to refuse to eat processed food, like at other peoples houses, and that's not what I am trying to do. Its not ALL about saving money and its not ALL about processed food being 'bad'. Its a part of each and the whole idea of it being a lifestyle. :) So a part of all 3! Plus I kinda like a challenge. :)... ok ok, I really like a challenge!!

So Im not speaking at MOMS until April, but Ive already figured out kinda what Im going to talk about. Ive asked Julie Olson to talk abit about Norwex, I think Im going to ask Karen Warner to talk a little about our overuse of Complex Carbs, I would LOVE to ask Janelle Hildebrant to talk about her Greenhouses and how much they are and such, but then how much time will I have??? lol.. Im going to do an outline about the biggest facts in this lifestyle that I love and the reasons we chose it. Im also going to talk a little bit about some enviromental concerns I have and such and such. You all will def get a bigger picture a little later on.

On other news, Joe has decided to get 40 chickens.... ummm.. what??? 20 layers for eggs and 20 broilers for meat. My dad is kinda helping with the master minding in the background a bit, I was speaking to him last night about this matter and brought up the fact that we were thinking of getting people to 'speak' for a certain number of chicken for a low cost. They would bring 'Ruffage' over once a week to feed them and then pay us a cost for keeping them for them. Then after 3 or so months we would kill them all. :( I said, 'Dad, how do you suppose we go about killing 20(or he said you are actually supposte to do them in 50 -100 at a time) or 100 chickens??? Without taking them to the butcher (because that expensive)??' He suggested we have a slaughter party... groan. We have a few kinks to work out, but Im sure with my Dad being part of the 'big plan' we will have 50 chickens to slaughter in the next few months... joy. The thought makes my stomache turn. Me and my children will be away for that weekend, I will tell you. Gesh. But he seems to think that the people responsible for thier chicken send an individual to the 'party'.... Anyway.. we have some kinks to work out, as I said.

Well, til next time.

New Years - So much more to plan for!!!

2010-12-29T11:55:00.000-08:00

So everybody constantly tells me I do too much. With 3 little ones (1, 2, and 3) I guess I should just concentrate on cleaning and potty training??

But thats not me. :) I am trying to become a better housewife, but I want so much more from this experience I call MOM.

I had an interesting conversation with a client the other day while doing product drop offs. She was asking me how Deacon was doing and we got to talking about something that is becomign more and more of a passion of mine.

These are my thoughts:

In the 50s and 60s, times were simple. Men worked, wives stayed home and made babies. A womens job was almost consumed with food. Weeding a garden, making meals ahead of time, whatever. And if you go farther back, they milked their own cows, made their own cheese, milk, bread, everything. And it took time.

So in the 70s (Or I call it the CHEMICAL era) they went big time into processing food, instant food, prepackaged sugar crap, and women slowly ventured big time into the workforce. So they had no time to home make like before.

We have continued in that Chemical era to become what resembles todays grocery store.

This is funny because I truly didnt care about these things a year ago. But that was when I was introduced to Norwex. Norwex is a company that sells these all natural cleaning things. Like silver cloths, no chemical detergent, silver toothbrushes, just use water mop, ect. I bought one of everything. Before that I said that I would use Green things if they worked better or the same as the regular things. Norwex blew me out of the water. Everything works!! So I started using these things in my daily life and noticed some thigns started to change. my hubbys backne went away, my ashma got better, ect. I also came to the realization that things that smell, are chemicals. thats all.

We are the generation of Febreeze, Swiffer, Bounce and Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. These things are horrid for you!!! The amount of harmful chemicals is astounding! Did you know they actually have a warning on Bounce that tells you it ' must not come in contact with CLOTHES'?!?!?! How crazy is that?

So I have taken out all the chemicals in my house. Its amazing how STRONG Tide smells. It takes awhile to realize that we are now wired to think that that smell equals clean.

So that was that.

I was talking to this client and she told me how easy making Almond milk was. I was like, no. I cant do this. Then I thought about it and now I cant see how I cant do it.

We are not going to buy any processed food for 6 months. Then in June we are going to stop going to the grocery store all together!! We are going to live off our land. We live on 2 acres, so we have the space. I work part time on my BeautiControl buisness, so I have time.

We are going to buy 3 apple trees, make a green house, build a garden, buy 12 layer chickens, 12 broiler chickens,ect. We already have 7 goats. 2 male and 5 female. In the spring hopefully the females have babies. Then I can milk them. :) I have looked into making Almond milk, Almond cheese, Almond butter, almond yogurt.... its SO easy! When we get some goat milk, I will look into making some of that into cheese, butter, ect. We will raise chickens for Eggs and chickens for meat. We are going to start our garden in the greenhouse, then transfer into our quite big garden. We are looking into getting dwarf apple trees, so that they produce appples sooner. I have already started making a loaf of bread a day. That may or may not cease in June, havent decided yet.

I really have no clue what Im doing. But all I know is any effort will be in the right direction.

If you have any tips, tricks, or would like to join me in my journey, please email me at spaahh@live.com

The last little while.

2009-04-29T13:50:00.000-07:00

So, how to start?

Since I'm pregnant, I have to go back to work. Well, I have to if I want to get a year of free money. I like money, so back to work I go! I originally was supposed to go back April 1st. But because of Deacon's recent hospital stay we decided to postpone it for 3 months until he gained a bunch of weight. With this recent news, we have decided that I will go back to work June 1st. In the last month Deacon has gained 3 lbs so we are very happy with his progress and are okay with me going back. I'm apprehensive about going back. I'm excited about something different. But I'm very nervous about leaving my boys (of course!). I was very happy knowing that my good friend Kori (who has looked after my kids for quite awhile), was willing to take them still. Then she told me that she wouldn't be able to. Her hubby is going to camp and the extra stress is not okay. So here I was without someone who I trusted to look after my kids. It was very upsetting and stressful. I don't blame her or anything it was just a bad situation. I can't have just anyone look after them. Riley is not a problem, a little aggressive but not a problem. Deacon can actually be termed handicapped, so just the price alone would have killed us. Plus I couldn't just leave THEM with anybody. I would think about their well being constantly at work. Is she changing Deacon enough? Is she feeding them proper food? Is she disciplining them the way I want her too? ARG!!! So then I asked my little sister who works at White Spot if she would be willing to look after them for 4 1/2 months. And she said YES!! Yaa!! I completely trust her and she will totally listen to what I want. Now I feel a little better about going back. :)

So I call Bartle and Gibson where I "work" and explain whats going on to them. They say sure come back we would love to have you! It was kinda known that they would have to lay me off sometime this year. They originally hired me while I was pregnant with Riley. Knowing that I would be on Maternity Leave soon. Then I came back when Riley was 8 months old while I was pregnant with Deacon. Again I worked for around 4 1/2 months and then went on Mat Leave again. I know silly. But I worked there just as overflow. They needed someone for Quotations, I went there for a few months. Then I went into Inside Sales for a few months. Wherever they needed me I went. So I had a conversation with my boss just before I was supposed to come back originally where he asked if we were planning on having more kids. He asked me that right after I asked him if they would have to lay me off later this year. It answers itself. lol. So when I called them last week, my boss told me that they couldn't guarantee to have me working there for the full 4 1/2 months. POW! Crap! That's not good. So we will see what happens... (play suspenseful music here)

Onto more happy news, My good friend Amanda had a little (meaning BIG) baby boy yesterday! He weighs 9lbs 6ozs!!! Congrats!!

I also found out that M, A, J, K and ME are ALL due in November! That's not including my cousin Nicole who is due in Oct! WOW!!! baby s are everywhere!

Im Expecting a very special package!!!

2009-04-08T18:57:00.000-07:00

Well I found out that I'm pregnant.

That statement alone is enough to scare the shit out of me. Its not that I don't WANT another child. Im sooo excited for another one! But, right now when we are discussing Deacon and how hard it is going to be, its upsetting to hear that I'm having a child that could possibly have HD as well. I'm moving forward only because I've been through it, know what to expect, and I'm okay with it. Another hard thing to deal with is everybody else telling me I should'nt have another one right now. How is that your choice? Joe and I are the ones at home with them. We're the ones nurturing them and teaching them. Its just really annoying that a perfect stranger or even someone that knows me really well would say that to me. ARG!

On another note, we are going up to Oliver this Easter weekend! We're going up for my BIL Alex's competition. Plus I really need a haircut! Joe's cousin that lives in Kelowna is an amazing hairdresser. I wish she had never done my hair because now I compare everybody to her. LOL! Its like having a crush on a really hot guy!

Anyway, please visit my blog about Deacon, I need as many people as possible to comment and visit so that it will turn up in Google searches. Thanks!!!

www.myhirschsprungsbaby.blogspot.com

The start of soo much more.

2009-04-02T15:36:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I thought about how to fix the problem. How do I go about getting better? A suggested that I see my dr. and maybe get medication. A different A told me that I would spend weeks trying to get the right thing and I would be void of all feeling. So I instead decided that helping other people makes me feel better soooo. Hmmmm... how can I help others?

Well my Dad's been pushing me to find a support group that deals with Hirschsprung's. I CAN"T FIND ONE! I search and search and I find maybe 3 and of those 3 none of them have more comments than 6. I need more. So he suggested making my own! I was like no. Thats not going to work. Than I started to think.

So now I have launched www.myhirschsprungsbaby.blogspot.com. Its a look inside Deacon and his illness. Im hoping that it will become a place for "experienced" parents to help new HD moms to figure out whats best for their child. Ive messaged 3 other blog parents I've found in hopes that they will help me out with their expertise. I only know what has and hasn't worked for Deacon a long segment baby. I've researched a little about short segment but Im no where near a mom who deals with it on a day to day basis. I would LOVE it if you could go there and send everybody you know there and comment so that it would turn up in google searches! Thanks guys!

The end of the line.

2009-03-31T14:57:00.000-07:00

So, I havent been feeling like myself recently. Ive told a few people that I feel depressed. I feel sad all the time, I dont want to do anything, and I cry ... alot. Its hard.

So this is what I have figured out so far.
With all of Deacon's past surgeries after the fact I can pretend that he's fine. When someone asks me how he is, I reply, "great!" And I push all my feelings and thoughts and fears to the back fo my mind. I know now that if I had been honest with everybody I would be breaking down all the time. So it was like a survival thing. I just kept thinknig as soon as he has his last surgery he will be just like every other little boy. Which as we now know, is false. He will always be different. Yes my son is going to have alot of trouble potty training. Yes we are going to have to make a special diet for him. My Dad told me this morning that I have to start thinkning of him as handicapped. The reason fdor that is that when I will be thinking like that I will be way more open to see his problems. But thats hard. Handicapped? Are you sure? So for the last 2 weeks, Ive been trying to deal, the best I can, and its not working. IM DEPRESSED!!!! All I think about all day long is the mistakes Ive made and how scared I am to make more. Thats not me. I told my Dad last night that I wished that Deacon could just live inside me, that way I could protect him forever. I DONT feel that way about Riley. Riley I love to see him trying new things and falling. To me that means that he is learning and becoming stronger. But with D its hard because its like hes sitting on a teeter totter. Barely staying on.
So I just thought that you would like to know whats been going on with me. Suckyness. I have decided that I want to start a blog just for D and for other parents who are going through the same things. Like what to feed him and how to make him grow.

On a happier note, Deacon now weighs 15 lbs!!

2009-03-22T14:34:00.000-07:00

this is Monday morning.
Same time.

This is Tuesday morning. Grey
This is in the hospital

This is my skinny little man.

Well, Im so excited!! I just found out (last) that my cousin Nicole is expecting!

Now that Ive said that...

The last week had been a gong show. I started off the week with all sorts of fun and interesting things that we were going to do. Being that it was my 2nd to last week before I went back to work and all. I started each day with a long list of things that needed and wanted to be done. Sunday was pretty interesting, we went to church where Deacon threw up all over the pew chairs. It was quite embarrassing and I told him to not repeat it. He was acting strange and listless. I decided to take him to the dr. As it was my little bro's birthday party at my parents. I went to the clinic with little D and Joe took Ry to their house. I thought it was probably the flu and he told me that yes it was. Not a big deal, just to give him gravol and feed him Pedialyte. If he was worse after 48hrs to take him again to the dr.s. We didnt think much of it. We cont on to mom and dad's and had a great time! Monday, he was better, a little. Or so I thought. I noticed that he was losing abit of weight. He hadn't thrown up since the day before. I had to phone and cancel all my appy's for that day. He was still eating abit and he was sleeping alot! I thought I would wait until Tuesday to see how he was. Tuesday morning I woke up and he was grey. Grey. Grey with blue lips and marbled legs and arms. GREY!!! I was terrified. But I didnt want to be that crazy mom who was bringing in her baby over the smallest thing. So I called my mom and my mum. Both of whom were practically yelling for me to take him to the ER. Ok... my fears are right. So I called his surgeon in Children's and told the secretary what was going on. She told me she was going to page Dr. Webber to call me back. I said that's fine but I'm leaving in a few to bring him there anyways. She told me great he'll be waiting for you. So I dropped off Ry at Sara's and hightailed it to the ER. It was the shortest wait ever! As soon as I stepped into that hospital we were rushed into a room, told to undress and then the staring started. He was SOOO skinny. I didn't even realize how skinny he was! His ribs were showing! I then witnessed the lying of the nurses and Dr.'s beginning. He looked like I had starved him for weeks! Or even months! Not that he had had the flu for 2 DAYS!! Anyway, finally a Dr. who believed me came and started an IV. In an hour they pumped 120mils into his little body! It wasn't until 3 days later when Dr. Rothstein told me that his kidneys were VERY close to failure and that HE WAS CLOSE TO DYING!!! That I finally knew how close we had come. We now know that if Deacon ever gets sick he is to be brought to Children's immediately! That includes vomiting 2 x, fever, lethargy, and or diarrhea. That's a scary thing. To be told that your child cant make it through a simple flu. All in all, it was a pretty scary week. Ive been told that there is not lasting effects from it. Thats nice. Plus we got connected with a gastrointestinal dr. that will help us help him gain weight!! I just weighed him and he is 14lbs!! So I just thought you should know...

Its been awhile...

2009-03-09T10:17:00.000-07:00

So I came back from Texas last monday. It was awesome! I had so much fun! Auntie Lori and I went exploring around Dallas for 2 days and I got to know alot more about her. We went to the really high end mall and then we treked for 2 hours to find a Walmart. So many inside jokes! My fav and Im sure its hers as well is: "Run Jack Asss RUN!!" Anyway... the meetings were so inspiring and made me want to tell everybody about BeautiControl!! But I know that some people are getting tired of me talking about BC. I get it, I would get upset as well if someone I knew was talking none stop about their job.
Last week was Ry's bday as well! He's 2 now. I forgot my camera on the plane so no pics... :( It really upsets me that I have no pics of his bday and his party. Hes so big now. I just bought him a bunch of clothes because hes 2 now, he is already too big for most of them. ARG!
I go back to work in 3 weeks. Thats pretty scary. Got to tell you. But I am excited to get dressed in nice clothes every morning.

2009-02-17T15:34:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to post the poem in the card Joe gave me from v-day.

From Carlton Cards...

For my wonderful wife
A Valentine's poem
For telling me quite bluntly
When my clothing looks absurd...
And helping me dress tastefully
Instead of like a nerd...
For never really minding
When Im hogging the remote...
And when Im channel surfing
Never reaching for my throat...
For listening when I babble
Bout the problems where I work-
And never saying things like,
"Knock it off, you whiny jerk!"
For seeing to it that I try
To eat some healthy food...
And finding me attractive
Even though you've seen me nude...
For all of this and every other
Little thing you do...
I couldnt be more grateful
That the wife I got is you!!!

Isnt that sweet???

2009-02-16T22:21:00.000-08:00

So Im leaving in a week to go to Dallas! Ive never been and Im very excited! But whenever "Mom" leaves, things have to change. Ive got 3 different people looking after Deek and Ry. It was very hard to ask these people, who in the recent months have taken Ry and or Deek at a moments notice, to again give up whatever they were going to be doing to watch my children. Plus they have to be there when Joe leaves at 5am. So its another thing to be concerned about.
Deacon. Well, he has quite bad diaper rash from his newly found poo. It was really bad, so I took him to the dr and started putting Nyastatin on it. Then it got alot better, but now it looks different. So back to the dr AGAIN. I also have to go to the dr for Deacon for another reason. I noticed about 4 days ago that he is almost 9 months old and he still has like 7 naps a day. Thats weird. He is usually only up for like an hour between sleeping. He is crawling but cries to be held quite recently. I took both Deacon and Riley to Dr. Wallace today and it went great! She told me Ry was bad but Deacon's back was really bad! So she fixed it and then told me he would have changes. We got home, I put D down in the living room, ran around to go to the bathroom and he crawled into the bathroom!!! Its like 20 feet! He has NEVER crawled that far! He did it like 7 times today! It made me feel great but also bad because he must have been in alot of pain. He is getting older super fast! He has started pulling himself up and walking around stuff!

Plastic Faces
All numeric
Walking walking
Fast
Smiling there
Hating here
Whatever do you mean?

V-day.

2009-02-14T12:44:00.000-08:00

So far so good! Today has been a very tired but good day! Deacon woke up last night at 4am and I havent really gone back to sleep yet. Riley woke up and all he talked about was Daddy. Its like he knows that certain days Daddy stays home from work. Today though Joe had to go in for a little while. When Joe got home, Riley went outside naked to help Daddy unload wood. He was running around screaming, "Yook Daddy!!!!" He also had "Mador" and "mak" stickers on his hands and kept showing Joe. This brings up the funny story of Matt's birthday party at the Keg. Ry was sitting up against the wall beside a picture (taken probably around 1915) of two trains that had crashed into each other. Half-way into our meal someone pointed it out to Ry. He was speechless for about 10 seconds. Then he proceeded to say to Joe, " YOOK DADDY YOOK!!! TRAIN!! BROKEN TRAIN!!! DADDY YOOK!!!" So Joe yooked. As he turned his head away from the picture, Riley would start up again. This went on for about 10 min until I asked him WHO broke the train. Then he started saying to joe, "DADDY YOOK!!! TRAIN BROKEN!! DADDY BROKE WITH A HAMMER!!! YOOK!!!" For about another 10 min until Joe glared at me and told me we were going home. Very funny. So Ry was in the back of Uncle Mattchu's truck with Daddy helping him throw wood - Naked. He kept looking in the front of the truck and saying, "Mattchu!" and Joe would tell him, "Yes Daddy borrowed Uncle Matthew's truck." Over and over again. We all went inside after all the wood was put away... LOL. Joe then gave me flowers! Hes so sweet. I tried to get Ry to say Happy Birthday Daddy. But whenever I said that he would say, " No happy birthday daddy, Happy birthday Uncle Mattchu!!!" Finally I explained to him that soon Mommy, Deacon AND Riley will have a day that its their "Happy Birthday's". That did it. "Ok Mommy. Happy Birthday Daddy!"
I had alot of fun last night at my brother Phil's Spa. It was halarious to see Brian "washing" his face. In other words, rubbing it in his hair, eyes, eyebrows and all over with the palms of his hands! They really had fun, though!

Finally I can talk about my day...

2009-02-13T23:42:00.000-08:00

Enough about the past... Today was a very hectic day. I woke up, sorry was WOKEN up yet again, by Ry like I am everyday. I knew that we were going to his playgroup's v-day party. I couldnt wake Deek up because I also knew I had to go other places after that, so no nappy for him! We finally got out the door at quarter to 10. The party was super sweet! Ry actaully told Nicca to " STOP IT NICCA!!", along with Ryder. He also got "timed out" 5 x in a row.. silly boy. After the party was over we went to Staples. Riley was so good in the store that I bought him a big colouring pad with "cars" as the theme as well as Thomas stickers. We get in the car and I put a sticker on his hand of "Percy" one of Thomas's friends. I always get a kick out of the crazy way sometimes he says things. He started calling him "pussy". Mommy, I love pussy. Mommy Yook(look) Pussy!!! Yes baby, PERCY. Mommy I like pussy. On and on it went about the pussy. Then he stuck the pussy on hin chin and it was, "Mommy!! Where did pussy go?!?" It took everything I had no to laugh.

Words Ry says:

Truck = cock

muffin = noffin

percy = pussy

Yook = look

kumon = come on

biggles = the wiggles

I yuv you = I love you

All in all even I get confused about what hes saying!! LOL!

Words he says right:

because

why not

why

yes

no night night time

Joe

Megan

Deacon

I miss you...

the list goes on and on...

Joes b-day is tomorrow, yes v-day is his b-day. I have planned for us to go to a movie and dinner. I really hope he likes it... :)

Shifting

Spreading

Feeling

The sands

Of time

Fall...

My passion... well you knew I was going to mention it someday!!

2009-02-13T00:43:00.000-08:00

So I like passion. I have a chinese symbol on my hip that means "passion". For those peps that know me, which lets face it is all 3 of you! LOL! Know that Im not boring or passive. I have a great skill at having my brain working ALL the time. I know it dosne t seem like it all the time, and it probably isnt what Im supposted to be thinking about. But... its true. Focus Megan... Ok sorry. I finished High School but it was hard. Im not very good at "school". Classrooms and the such just dont do it for me. I got maybe a C in all my subjects. So after High School, I have no clue what I wanted to do. Photography was a passion of mine and I went to BCIT for a little class, but it just didnt pan out. My dad finally hired me out of pity and I started off slow. First I helped organize the shop. I soon discovered that "organizing" also itsnt my "thing". Then he brought me to a mini job site, where I just was the first aid person but also his SLAVE. Or so I felt. I would do odd jobs around... well where ever! (on a side note, we had a guard dog there named Pebbles and he was quite unfriendly. One day he "got off" his leash and took off toward this greyhound. Who was being walked by a young gentleman. He took 2 huge chunks out of this dogs hind quarters before I got there to haul his away. I appoligized to the man and he took off. I was sweating bullets because I knew he could sue me! The next day the young man came back. I said I was sorry again and asked how the dog was. He told me that Pebbles actually bit him as well and they both were ok. I asked if there was anything I could do and he proceeded to ask me out. Weird I know.) Anyway, I hated it! Then he started a new job in North Van, I went out there once a week and cleaned their trailer. Then slowly I started to work "on site". I worked for him for 5 years total. Around year 3 I started to feel actually like I was doing something right and by year 5 I was loving it! I had to stop because of my babies and I will probably never do it again. But in Sept my aunt introduced me to BeautiControl. She had never signed anyone up and I kept bugging her, so one day I just signed myself up! From the get go, I loved everything! I had gotten used to nothing ever doing what it tells you it will. My closet is filled with probably $1000 worth of crap stuff. Im going full bore ahead and hoping to become a director by the end of this year!
So I just got back from a fast lane leadership meeting. I loved it! Everytime anyone lets me talk about BeautiControl, I get outta hand! I shared all my ideas with everyone and they all listened! I feel bad sometimes because people think Im trying to gimmic them into something, when in reality Im just trying to help them reach their dreams. I just wanted to introduce you to my other love.

BeautiControl beauticontrol
How you love?
With your instant manicure
and above.

My first Rant...

2009-02-11T16:20:00.000-08:00

Well not EVER but here I guess. Deacon is such a happy easygoing little baby. But its a little annoying when we go out and EVERBODY thinks that he is like 3 months old. We weighed him today(his 8 1/2 month birthday, LOL) and he weighs 13 lbs. Thats awsome! He weighed 12 lbs when he was 4months old! He stayed that weight until 3 weeks ago when he had his last surgery. He has finally started gaining! I guess people dont know how hurtful it is when they proceed to tell you stories of how HUGE their child was. Its funny because Riley was a big boy and wherever I went I would tell everybody how big he was. I never knew until now how maybe I was hurting their feelings. Or maybe Im just sensitive. Its like when your pregnant and EVERYBODY loves to come up to you and tell you how HUGE you are! Its like, "Ya, thanks I dont have a mirror at home." Hello people! We know!

Sorry. Got carried away...

The Juthers (Judging mothers)

Every word

That flies like an arrow

Pierces into my self-esteem

Why?

The judges

Are judged

By the judging

Its all too much to bear...

My love, my life and my bestest friend.

2009-02-11T00:10:00.000-08:00

Joe. The name alone is enough to stop my heart. LOL. No Im serious! Ok, I did this is the wrong order. But Joe is a very important part of my life. We met at a job site called "Time" in North Van. I knew him as an ass first. I asked him one time to help me carry something to the 14th floor (stairs - its weird because when your helping BUILD the building the elevator doesn't work when you need it to the most, like when you need to carry a whole lot of stuff to the roof. Sucks I know...) and he was like, "No, do it yourself". I was so not used to that. My dad would sometimes ask me to do something, walk around the corner, come back and some dude is doing it FOR ME. It totally went against his whole, "If you dont do it yourself nobody else is going to do it for you", motto thing. It wasnt ever anything big, just like typically someone lugging stuff for me. This on funny morning, my GF Elyse and I were on the roof preparing for a pour (when they pour concrete on top of the things that are going to be in the floor - sounds silly, I know.) and our friend (this guy that worked there), came up the stairs and met my dad in the staircase bringing us each a coffee. My dad just thought we were ridiculous. Anywho, Joe. Right. Kinda an ass, but really cute. Then one day he asked me to a birthday party at Roosters. My dad found out that I was "dating" a guy on site, and he blew up on me, asking, "Can't you find guys anywhere else?" So we planned a dad and daughter night for the same night as the Roosters night. So we went to a movie together, went home and I snuck out. I got there at like 11pm and Joe thought I wasn't coming so he was drunk. Lets just say, I snuck out all for nothing. I wrote him off and cont on my way. He however became obsessed with me and I had to have the whole, "We should just be friends" line. A week and a half later we kissed. So that was in April and we got engaged on Dec 17th. It was awesome dating Joe, finding out all these little things about him, like how EVERYBODY thinks that hes an angry person because he glares at them. But in reality he just cant see and hes thinking. Funny. Anyway we got engaged and then we got married on Sept 2, 2005. To this day I feel like I just fell for him. Hes so funny and sweet...

Joey

Love and hope

Become

The cry of my soul

The want of you

I see

Within

I need your kisses

I know you'll

Never leave me

But still

I cry

The thought

Of no more you

Kills me

The love

Fills my heart

Overflows into

My limbs

And I fall

But your arms

Catch me and

I love...

Deacon Kail Oliver

2009-02-09T14:01:00.000-08:00

Well, when Riley was 4 months old, we decided that we should start trying again to have another. I think one of the big "mistakes" people make when they want to have another is that they think it will take the same amount of time(around) to get pregnant again. Well it took 6 months for Ry so we thought if we start now we might get pregnant by the time Ry is 1! So we went up to Joes uncle and aunts place up in OLIVER. hint hint... So this time no decorating but it was our anniversary! So the first month we tried... it worked!! LOL! So now here I am 4 weeks pregnant with a 5 month old. Fun! right. So I had to go back to work early, when Riley was 8 months old. So that I could collect mat leave again for Deacon. I worked for 4 months. It was fun I enjoy it. Went on mat leave right before we bought our first home! On April 1st we moved into our beautiful house! Deacon's pregnancy was pretty uneventful, no ambulance drives, no fainting. It was great! But at the 38 week mark the midwife again thought that maybe he was breech. So they got me in to see Dr. Lampen just in case I had to have a c-section again. He asked me if I would like for him to turn the baby. For some reason I said no, I felt really strong about it. When I was 38 weeks and 3 days they thought that he had turned again. So into the hospital, more ultrasounds and suprise suprise! Hes breech! Again he asked me if I would like for him to turn the baby (meaning pushing on the outside of my belly trying to turn the baby, there is a risk of uterus rupture but he told me a small one) I again said no. So we scheduled another c-section for that day. Deacon was born at 7:45pm on May 23rd, 7lbs 12oz, 21 inches long. He was also perfect! Very light complection and blondy red hair! So I breastfed him that night 3 times, the last being at 4am. He was doing great! I fell asleep and awoke to a sleeping baby - awesome! So time went on that day and Deacon was still not hungry or pooping. Nobody was concerned. Dorothy my MIL was MIA in Alberta, I gave her quick calls all day to fill her in. Now we knew before we had any kids that Joe has a disease called Hirschsprungs, meaning that the ganglion nerves are missing in parts of the colon and small intestines. Which means that they stay closed not allowing any poo to get through. Also meaning that they are always full until the BM goes sour, then they throw it up. So this was a big sign to me - not feeding, no poos, distended tummy, and very lethargic. I started to tell the nurses that something was wrong with my baby. Nobody listened. I get it, probably everybody who has a baby thinks at one point that they have a deadly disease. But in my case - I was right. They finally called Dr. Hewes and she said she would be in the next day to see him ( it was 9pm - 17 hours since his last meal.) Then she got called in anyway to a birthing. So she came up to see him and take X-rays and a blood test. The X-ray showed great loops of distended intestines and then little tiny ones. Hirschsprungs. They transferred us out the Children's Hospital at 4am. Over the next week he ate nothing, but had saline in his IV. At a week old he had a biopsy done to determine once and for all if he had it. The first came back inconclusive. So they had another one done and this time it was positive. So his first surgery was scheduled for June 4th. They were going to go in and determine if he had short segment (only a short piece usually ending in his colon) or long segment(meaning he would have to have a colostomy bag and then another surgery later to hook him back up). They told us it would be anywhere from 20 min to 4 hours. It was 5. They came out and told us yes it was long and it was in the whole colon and about a foot of his small intestines. He would have to have an iliostomy bag and another surgery. He took about 1 and a half weeks to recover and be on full feeds. So on June 20th we took him home. He was 7lbs 12 ozs. After he was home I went in to get a scan to see what was up with my uterus. In the end we founf out the reason both my babies were breech is because I have a dual chambered uterus. It means that I have almost 2 seperate uteruses. There was not enough room for them head down, so its a good thing that he didnt turn him because he probably would have ruptured it. Over the next few months he did pretty good! He gained 5 lbs! But he was always under the scale of typical babies. When he was 5 months old and in early Nov he went through what was supposted to be his last surgery. After again 5 hours then came out and told us there were complications and that he would have to have a bag on the opposite side for a while longer. They did reconstructive surgery on most of his small intestines, cutting them in half and sewing them to old parts of his colon they had saved. His problem why he wasn't gaining was that he didn't have his colon which takes all the salt and water out of your food. You cant gain weight without salt. So then we had to wait. We took him to Mexico on Jan 5th and he had soo much fun! Then we came back on the 12th and his last surgery was on the 16th. He went in and had an hour long surgery just to hook him back up! Then surgery in Nov was 5 hours long and he was in the hospital for 6 days. This last surgery in Jan was an hour long and he was in the hospital for 8 days. Hes an excellent healer but as soon as you touch his bowels hes knocked on his ass. The poor child had never before felt gas! He writhed on his bed for days and screamed. The drs all thought something had gone terribly wrong! They sent him for X-ray after X-ray, thinking that his poo was filling his abdominal cavity. Nope. Just gas! Phew! So we left the hospital 1 kilo heavier than when we came in and he still only weighed 14lbs at 8 months old. He lost all the water weight and were hoping that because of this last surgery that he will be able to put on more weight. He now weighs 12lbs 2ozs. But he doesn't look sick or starving ( which someone told me just recently I was doing to him). Hes just small for his age!

Deacon

It hurts

To see you lying there

So small and frail
Tiny as all
Poked all over

Bruised and battered
My little panda

Where have you gone?

Where is your smile?

So big like mine

Its lost within

The stiches

That line my mind

It hurts...

Riley Matteo Canyon

2009-02-08T21:45:00.001-08:00

Well I thought I would take each of my sons and do a little blurb on them. Riley. We got pregnant with Riley on June 15th 2006. At our family ranch in Ashcroft, named Black Canyon Ranch. We were preparing for my brothers wedding, not by having sex, but by helping decorate. We had a break, obvously, and went for a walk... ok sorry this is too much info. I get it. Anyway, My pregnancy went pretty good. I realized that my bones like to pop out of joint ALOT while being pregnant. I think 6 different bones popped out at least 20x each. My rib, pelvis, hips, knee... ect. I fainted twice. Once I had to be driven to the hospital in an ambulance. Fun... really. He was perfect, head down the entire pregnancy. Until I went in to see my midwife on my 40 weeks due date. She tried to check to see if he was head down and was unsure. Finally she said he was but his head was not "engaged", meaning down inside the "birthing canal". Gross I know. Anyway she sent me to the hospital to have an ultrasound. The ultrasound was inclunclusive, Silly... So a doctor came, "felt around" and dicovered that he was head down, feet first! So I had a c-section. That day a few hours later. Never went into labour, nothing. He was born at 5:15pm on March 5th 2007. Weighing 8lbs 3 oz, 21 1/2 inches long. Perfect. He was born with a full head of black hair, and quite a dark complection.

Well almost 2 years later and hes definatley keeping me on my toes! He talks a mile a minute about everything, swims like crazy and we're just starting on potty training. So Im sure you will hear MUCH more about him as the days come on.

Riley

My heart tip toes

Across a tight rope

Tetters on a totter

I reach out to steady it

Giggles fill the air

Up and down

Bouncy bouncy bouncy

His smile is all I see

My soul guides him to the strings

That hold me together

And he pulls with all his might

"Uppy Mommy uppy"

I swing him around again

There is nothing I can do

But pray he finds the ground

I know he will find his ground.

My button forever

My heart always...

2009-02-07T09:57:00.000-08:00

Let me tell you a little about myself.

Im 25, married for 3 years with 2 boys. I met my husband Joe at a construction site in early 2004. We started dating in April and got engaged in December that year. We got married on Sept 2 /2005. We had our first son, Riley Matteo Canyon on March 5th / 2007. We had our second son, Deacon Kail Oliver on May 23rd / 2008. Next month Riley will be 2 and Deacon is 8 months old.

My greatest success is getting my journeyman plumbing ticket. I worked for my dad for 5 years and after 3 I actually started to like it. I think I like it so much because I can do it. I can see in my mind what needs to be done and then I can do it! I would love to go back and do it again, but Joe's not too keen on that. I stopped plumbing in the summer of 2006, being pregnant kinda put a damper on lifting a toilet to install it. I started working for a plumbing wholesaler on Sept 11 / 2006. I like it, but we need something a little extra to help us through each month now. So I started selling BeautiControl on Sept 11 / 2008. I love it! It gives me the same feeling as plumbing. I know thats silly, but thats the way it is! I can actually see what I want to do and then totally do it!

I have quite a large fam damily. With 4 siblings I grew up loving a big family. Now I have 2, my sister Sara has 2 ( also boys!), and my brother Matt ( married to Christa) has a little girl - Sophia! So thats 5 grand babies! Yaaa!! My mom and dad are sooo loving it! Plus they are all grouped together, so when they grow up they can play together. :)

When I was younger I loved to write poetry... some of it not so good, but it helped me deal with anything that came up. So I thought it would be a good time to start writing again. Im going to send off each post - hopefully - with a poem. Either from back then or written that day. So heres my first:

Melting Into Love
I feel like your apart of me
Like we're all tied up somehow
Inside and out
Within our souls
Intertwined
A kiss lengthens the soul
Becomes it
The strings that tie us
Thicken
Tighten
When we're together
I feel more like myself
There is no ride
It just is
Us
You take a piece of me
Wherever you go
We fall
Together
Pieces mismatched
To form one puzzle
Of the we
That was
Together meshed
Where does one end
And the other start?
Melting

into

love...

Well... Here goes nothing...

2009-02-06T23:50:00.000-08:00

Hello.

My name is Megan. I have decided to start my own trek into the "Blog" world. My sister Sara and my sis-in-law Christa both have theirs and I have for quite a while stood on the sidelines. Its not quite my "thing" as many of you might know. :) The reason I have waited this long to venture out in this fashion is because I am terrified. There I said it. Terrified. Terrified of writing. I have never written anything ( except for a report in plumbing school that I got 95%, but I guess because its plumbing school...) that Ive been proud of, or even ok with. So heres my big step into... nothing.